


Agent down

by Katherinexx1



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, shotwound
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-04
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-04 17:35:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18348437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katherinexx1/pseuds/Katherinexx1
Summary: Scully was shot on an assignment and Mulder feels guilty.She needs constant care and help, so Maggie and Mulder team up to take care of her.





	1. Chapter 1

_Her gun came sliding his way as she fell lifeless to the floor. Her eyes wide open, her mouth gasping for air. The desperation in her eyes, the helplessness._

_Pure horror, pure agony on his face. The bullet had hit her hard in the stomach, blood feathered her white shirt as her body hit the ground. Her porcelain face fragile and pale, her eyes rolled back in her head and her eyelids closed._

_He yelled her name and ran towards her, his face in utter panic and despair._

_His legs ran fast to get to her, to save her, but he couldn’t reach her…_

_SCULLLAAYYYYY!!!!_

 

Her name echoed through the completely silent room, it sounds like a plea, a desperate call for help.

Mulder woke from his nightmare in the middle of the night, sweat sparkling on his tanned skin, his shirt was soaked. His breathing was raging and his heart was racing.

Since the night it happened, he had been having these nightmares, blaming himself for not being able to prevent his partner from being shot. He felt responsible and guilt ached in his heart.

He silently left the couch and walked through the dimmed living room towards the bedroom.

His eyes needed a moment to adapt to the darkness, but he needed to check if he didn’t wake her calling her name that loud in the peaceful night. As his eyes traveled through her room he noticed how she still seemed asleep. Her tiny frame, fragile on the mattress, not able to move.  

Slowly and carefully he approached her, his eyes veiled on her pale face. Her breathing eased him, it calmed him down.

A sigh escaped his mouth as his fingers brushed over her cheek, tucking a few hairs behind her ear. She lightly reacted to the sensation, but she didn’t open her eyes.

A big bandage covered her stomach, it was taped all the way around her body. A small light in the corner of the room broke the twilight. The white cotton of the bandage was already stained by a brown speck of dried blood. The wound was still bleeding.

She was allowed to leave to the hospital a few days ago, but he knew she was in great pain and needed constant care and help. The muscles in her stomach were hit by the bullet, making it impossible to almost move her torso.

Scully being Scully had refused help from either him like her mom, but she couldn’t be left alone, she was in constant of someone around.

The bandage needed to be refreshed every few hours and the wound needed to be taken care of. As her muscles refused service she couldn’t walk or sit up without help. Her mom took care of her during the day and Mulder had volunteered to keep an eye on her after work and during the nights.

Scully wasn’t the easiest patient, being a very independent woman she hated being pampered as Maggie and Mulder did right now. But she had no choice and somewhere in her mind, she knew she needed help.

The wound was still very fragile and could get infected easily. No internal organs were hit, but recovery would take a while because of the muscle damage. It was a nasty wound, but Mulder was relieved when they told him no organs were hit and also her spinal cord was intact.

He would never have forgiven himself for letting her get hurt during an assignment. Their profession had risks, true, but he blamed himself for this one. He never should have brought her to this case, knowing he couldn’t protect her properly. She would tell him it wasn’t true and that she could take care of herself and that is was her choice being there with him.

He smiled at the thought of what a perfect partner she is for him.

His finger trailed subtly over her hand resting next to her stomach, he was glad she was still here. He would do everything to make her better.

But in this case, it needed time.

 

***

 

A few hours later his alarm clock woke him up. Maggie would take over the shift in an hour and he needed to get ready for work, make her tea and a light breakfast, give her the medication she needed and refresh her bandage.

He tried to be as silent as he could to not wake her up. Days were long enough for her just lying in her bed staring at the ceiling, so he wanted her to give her as much rest as she could get.

The bathroom was right next to her bedroom, so he was quick and fast. He had brought his overnight bag and after a short shower, he wore his usual work outfit.

A light toast, tea and fruit salad on the side, he carefully filled the tray, added her meds and walked slowly to her bedroom.

The tray was placed on her dresser and he wary opened the curtains letting sunlight in. It gently woke her up and he noticed how her eyes struggled to fight the rays of sunshine on her porcelain skin.

Every morning she noticed how sore she was, trying to move like she normally would do in the morning.  
Mulder already knew her familiar groan in the morning, admitting it wasn’t better.

 _“Morning Scully, how are we doing this morning?”_ he said while he sat down at the edge of the bed. He hoped his smile would help her to smile too.

 _“I feel like a million dollars …”_ Scully joked being in pain because the grimace on her face gave away the hurt she was in _“… robbed from a bank…”_ she added trying to laugh _“… in a monster truck…”._  

 _“Pain?”_ Mulder asked his face compassionate and concerned, meaning he wanted to take it all away from her. He felt her pain and he knew from the other days, sitting up more straight might help.

His arms hooked gently under her armpits on both sides, she already knew the routine, she responded by putting her arms around his neck. He carefully pulled her up to a sitting position, settling some cushions behind her back to make sure she was steady.

Her teeth bit her lip and she groaned. It hurt so bad.

 _“Better?”_ he whispered while gently released her and he placed the tray on her bedside table.

She smiled lightly and nodded and whispered a _“thank you”_ in his direction, following his movements.  

 _“Tea, fruit salad and toast. Is that ok, Scully? Need anything else?_ ” he asked her handing her the cup of tea and medication she needed to take.

As she listened and obeyed, she said: _“It’s perfect, Mulder, thank you!”_

 _“Your mom is coming an hour, but I think we really need to change that bandage_!” he said pointing at the brown stained cotton. A few clear red flecks were added, the wound had started to bleed again.

 _“I feel it sting indeed,”_ Scully said. She knew Mulder was hesitant on changing the bandage. It was always her mom who did it. She knew Mulder would feel uncomfortable seeing her in pain and seeing the wound he felt so responsible for. But this time it couldn’t wait an hour longer.

The hospital had made this little case with all the bandages they would need and also products to disinfect the wound.

 _“Guide me through it,”_ he instructed Scully, while he grabbed the tools he needed.

 She was in great pain, he noticed the way she spoke and held herself.

 _“Cut the swathe and the tape and remove it,”_ she said while she handed him the scissors out of the case.

He carefully put the scissors between the warm skin of her stomach and cut it open all the way up.

His fingers held her skin steady, trying not to cause more pain than she already had. Her arms sought support on his shoulders when he pulled the swathe behind her back. He felt how his hand was flat on her belly and it made her heart flutter in some way. She couldn’t really explain why it did that, Mulder had touched her before. But it was a gentle and tender moment.

The cotton bandage covering the wound was soaked in blood.

 _“Remove the patch, clean and disinfect with this,”_ she hissed trying to cope the best she could with the pain. She used a few words because it hurt every syllable she spoke.

The wound was glistening with blood and Mulder was horrified by the sight of it.

 _“Oh Scully…”_ his face couldn’t hide the horror he saw. He felt so for her, being in pain and suffering. The wound really looked ugly and he felt so guilty.

He took a warm washcloth and cleaned it the best he could. He tried to be gentle and careful. He checked her reaction, but her face was turned away from him and her eyes were closed. He could see how her jaw clenched and how little puffs of breath escaped her mouth. Her lip quivered and a tear rolled over her cheek.

Suddenly her hand found his, her fingers held him. _“Careful”,_ she whispered. He got as close as he could to the gaping wound, the stitched were almost invisible by the amount of blood seeping out. Her fingers clamped his hand hard, ready to rescue herself if the pain should be unbearable.

Her abs tensed in response, which caused her pain as well, but his hand gently massaged the skin, to get her to relax again.

Once he disinfected the injury her fingers gently loosened her grip. Her face turned in his direction again and her eyes met his. She softly smiled and thanked him with her eyes. She was too weak to speak.

 _“You ok?”_ he softly said while he dropped the dirty bandages. She nodded briefly and her eyes answered him how grateful she was he took care of her.

Mulder proceeded by putting a new clean patch on the wound and a swathe around her body. Again he held her against his chest, her arms were draped over his shoulders while her body rested against him. That was the only way he could put the swathe around her.

Once the swathe was sealed, he gently let her fall back against the cushions.

 _“There…”_ he softly whispered, letting her know it was over.

 _“Thank you,”_ she sighed, _“like a pro”_ she tried to joke.

He made sure she could reach her breakfast, and it hit him she was only wearing a bra above the bandage. And it didn’t make him nervous at all. He knew this wasn’t the time and place to think about almost naked Scully. But it struck him he noticed it just now.

 _“Can you help me with my sweater before you go, Mulder, otherwise I will get cold?”_ she asked him pointing at the folded pile in the corner of the room.

“ _Sure,”_ he answered her. Lucky it was a hoody with a zipper in front. He sat next to her, making her fall against his chest again. He helped her arms into the hoody and when she fell back against the headboard he covered her chest area.

As if she suddenly also realized she just showed her underwear to her partner she smiled nervously at him. He knew perfectly well what her smile meant. Their eyes locked for a second, exchanging Mulder’s “apologies” and Scully’s “I don’t mind” gazes.  The second lasted a few seconds, he was sitting on the edge of her bed, fingers still lingering on the fabric of the sweater, adjusting where nothing needed to be adjusted.

For a second she forgot her pain staring into his hazel eyes, taking away every single piece of hurt she felt. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips while she swallowed her fruit salad. Her eyes got shy and traveled over his face to her fingers on the fabric of her sweater.

Her fingers found his hand and by touching him he slowly woke from his haze.

 _“Don’t be late for work,”_ she silently whispered, _“I’ll be fine, mom will be here in no time.”_ The words left her mouth while her eyes focused on his lips.

His eyes slowly trailed up and when he blinked, she knew the spell was broken.

Before he stood and walked to the door, he held her hand and gave her a swift kiss on it, while his eyes met hers. It was a spell that seemed impossible to break, so it seemed.

 _“Sure, you’ll be fine?”_ he asked, wanting to stay longer if she would ask.

 _“Go, Mulder, I’m ok!”_ she warmly insisted, sending him off with a sweet and thankful smile.

 

 _“See you tonight,”_ he said when he walked through her living room opening the door, he almost bumped into Maggie who just arrived.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

That night Mulder stopped by his apartment to pack a few things and drop off dirty laundry. He took a quick hot shower and changed into a white t-shirt and his jogging pants. Comfort was important spending a night on the couch at Scully’s.

He got a phone call from Maggie asking him if would join them for dinner. He gladly accepted because he loved Scully’s mom’s cooking skills.

He rushed through his place and drove to Scully’s apartment. On the way over he tried to forget the guilt and the sorrow he felt. It was as if he had shot her himself, that’s how he felt. A pain no one could ever take away from him. He had dragged her to the place in the first place, he had insisted on taking the case, it was his fault.

He felt how he teared up and quickly shook his head to block more negativity. He needed his energy to take care of her, she needed him although she would never admit it.

As he arrived at her place, Maggie kindly let him in and greeted him with her usual: _“Hi Fox.”_

He always smiled hearing her say it, remembering Scully correcting _“Not Fox, Mulder”,_ but he was ok with Maggie saying ‘Fox’.

He gave her a quick kiss and headed to the bedroom. _“Careful… she’s grumpy today,”_ Maggie warned him, eying at Scully’s room.

He knew how stubborn and grumpy Scully could be, she probably thought she could handle stuff on her own, she didn’t need any help. He took a deep breath and intended to cheer her up as needed.

_“How are we doing, today?”_ he smiled entering her bedroom.

_“You saw me this morning, Mulder, still the same I guess!”_ she answered clearly annoyed, not even looking in his direction. Her eyes looked lifeless and she stared at the window.

_“I see…”_ he answered while he stepped closer to her bed. The moment her head turned in his direction he had put his hands up and mouthed: _“Don’t shoot”._

It was such a funny and childish act which made her smile briefly. Her eyes met his and she couldn’t refuse his friendly stare. He kissed her on the cheek and rubbed her hand for a moment.

_“How is the wound?”_ he asked worriedly. The way it looked this morning, wasn’t good and he was afraid it would infect. His eyes asked permission to inspect the wound, by a light nod, she agreed. He slowly sat down on the edge of the bed, while she carefully peeled her shirt up.

There were a few brown dried blood stains, but it was way less than it was in the morning. Maggie had replaced the bandages around noon and it seemed ok now.

_“Tonight we’ll change them and then we’ll check again,”_ he suggested while brushing his hand over her stomach.

The gesture was so kind and sweet and his little touches felt so great, she loved it. She knew Mulder felt guilty and wanted to make it up to her, but he had no reason to feel the way he was feeling. It was her choice and she would follow him to the end of the world.

But the way he cared for her and the way he rushed home from work to be with her, take care of her, warmed her heart.

She knew she didn’t always show it, because she hated being this dependent on people, but Mulder made her melt every time again. His eyes were soft and warm, his touch careful and healing.

His fingers lingered a bit longer on her stomach, his gaze was loving and sweet. She didn’t care at all.

_“How was work?”_ she shyly asked, feeling the tension rise between them, feeling he could totally melt her icy facade.

_“The usual…”_ he swiftly said, adding that Skinner and Kersh were in his neck, but he quickly changed the subject: “ _but I didn’t come here to talk about work…”_

He couldn’t suppress a smile, looking at her, his eyes trailed the pale skin of her perfect face. This wasn’t just remorse he felt, he looked at her and work didn’t matter anymore.

His hand found hers and he played with her fingers, Scully watched him and just let him be. Sometimes they simply didn’t need words…

Their little moment was interrupted by Maggie, informing that dinner was served.

***

After dinner, Mulder cleaned up and Maggie made sure her daughter was all set for the night. Scully didn’t like the pampering, but she was happy with the help and the company. Her mood clearly had changed since Mulder had come home.

_“If you need anything Fox, just call me, okay?”_ Maggie said when saying goodbye, she took her coat and walked towards the door. Mulder smiled and nodded _“Ok Mrs. Scully, will do.”_ He answered while putting the last dishes in the correct cupboard.

_“Maggie… “_ she gently reminded him of the fact they were on first name bases. He loved Maggie, she was so kind and sweet, a wonderful mom for Scully. But she needed some rest herself, so that’s why Mulder volunteered to do the nightshifts at Scully’s. Not that he would want it any other way. Scully was his partner and friend and he would do anything for her.

She waved one last time at him, her friendly eyes definitely affirmed him staying with her girl. He could read it in her eyes, in her way of reassuring him. She wished him goodnight and left the apartment, Mulder immediately locked the door and did the last tidying up in the kitchen.

After that, he dimmed the lights in the living room and slowly walked to Scully’s bedroom. She was sitting up straight, reading some scientific magazine, bored to death he noticed it in her face.

Once Mulder stepped into the room, she closed her book and tossed it to the side.

_“Getting so bored!”_ she sighed, meeting his stare as he walked in. _“Read everything twice already…”_

He clearly understood her struggle, but he didn’t quite know how to solve it. He noticed how she already was wearing in her sleep outfit. Her mom helped her shower and change when he was doing the dishes. Her hair was freshly washed and the perfume of cherry blossoms lingered in his nose.

_“Did you enjoy your shower, after so long?”_ he asked when he sat down next to her.

_“God yes,”_ she said, _“It was however very painful, lucky for me my mom in a patient women.”_

She softly smiled and she looked happier and at ease than she did this morning. Her fingers found his hand and she gently squeezed them.

He couldn’t do anything else than smile back at her, her skin was clear as a crisp summer day. He could spend hours looking at her face, it was so perfect and he never really noticed how perfect it was.

She loved the way he looked at her like she was the only woman in the entire world he could look at. But when he did, it was intense, deep and warm. In some strange way, he always seemed to cheer her up, even in her darkest days.

_“So you need anything else?”_ he said while his eyes studied her bandage and his finger trailed the rim where the cloth met her pale skin.

_“Your company is very welcome_ ,” she softly answered while her eyes avoided his, she shyly looked at her hands in her lap.

_“… watching a movie together would be nice also though!”_ she said, waiting for his reaction.

_“Sounds like a wonderful idea, Scully!”_ he smiled, happy she agreed on his company.

 

Moving her to the living room would be too painful, so Mulder dragged the television into her bedroom. _“I know it’s not aesthetically pleasing, but hey…”_ he said while he installed the DVD player and plugged everything into place. She watched him, she followed every move he made, every smile, gaze and touch in her direction, and she could only love what he did for her.

She knew Mulder was the perfect guy in many ways, he was kind, sweet, thoughtful, but he could drive her insane. She loved how they could talk for hours, sometimes about nothing at all. He was always there for her, she trusted him and he trusted her.  

_“…it’s perfect,”_ Scully answered, while her eyes met his.

His heart fluttered seeing her so sweet like she was now. He could sense a hint of flirtatiousness in the way she looked at him. She looked helpless, but he knew Scully wasn’t helpless at all, she was one of the most independent women on the planet. But now, she had no choice, she depended on him and on her mom.

Her skin still glistened from the shower, he had to admit, he got a little turned on by the fact he was in her apartment while she was naked under the shower. It felt so bad thinking these things seeing her lay there so helpless and hurt. In fact, he actually didn’t allow himself to ever think that way again. But he was a guy and Scully was a very attractive woman. He didn’t need much from her to feel aroused.

_“What will we be watching?”_ he quickly said before his brain went into masculine overdrive.

Scully pointed at the basket in the corner of the room, _”Mom brought a few DVDs, but I don’t know if there’s anything you like?”_ she lazily said.

Mulder’s face was priceless when he checked what was in the basket, to his great surprise the movies were actually quite good.

_“You will say I’m crazy, but let’s watch this one…?”_ his face was adorably cute when he showed her the movie he wanted to see. Out of the big classics Maggie had brought, he picked…

_“Casablanca, Mulder?”_ her voice was high pitched and she couldn’t believe he picked the most romantic movie of all time. Her eyes were big and she looked at him wanting an explanation.

_“I actually never saw ‘Casablanca’,”_ he confessed with a sad face.

She smiled at him and nodded, for her, it really didn’t matter which movie he chose, she just didn’t want to be alone.  And tonight, she wasn’t, Mulder was with her and she loved it. His care warmed her heart and made the pain fade away. His caring hands and soothing voice, his lovely jokes and stories made her forget what actually happened. It felt good to have a man in the house.

He made sure she was comfortable, closed the curtains, turned the television on and pressed play. He walked next to her bed and sat down on a bulky chair in the corner.

He struggled hard between crawling next to her in bed or choosing the chair in the corner. Of course, his only choice would be to be next to her in bed, to feel her close, to hear her breathe, to feel her warmth, to even touch her, but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable. He was afraid, afraid to break their trust, to force things, to make things awkward. He wanted nothing more than to be next to her, but she was hurt, in pain, he couldn’t possibly make a move like this.

For so long he wanted to make a move, show her how he felt, but he just couldn’t, he was too afraid. He didn’t know how she felt about him, did she even feel the same? He had longed for her, his body needed her, his mind needed her, he needed her. He just didn’t seem to find the right time.

But not now, not yet…

 

_“Mulder?”_ she said in disbelief, turning her head as far as she could to see him sit there like a punished child in the corner of the room.

_“What are you doing there?”_ she continued while she paused the movie.

He hesitated and he didn’t know if he had to be honest or…

_“Don’t put on that act Mulder!”_ she said to him seeing him struggle to answer. _“You need to take care of me, how can you do that from there?”_ she joked, but in her heart, she felt it too. She wanted him close to her, he needed to be next to her.

Her eyes smiled when he got up and made his way to the right side of the bed. She watched him and she loved how his white shirt fit his chest and his arms, those strong arms helped her up every time she needed.

He had changed into his joggings before he came to her place. He was comfortable and it felt so domestic.

“ _Happy now?”_ he smirked when he snuggled next to her. His heart fluttered out of happiness, to be so close, the fact that she allowed him to come closer meant a lot. Scully wasn’t just anyone, it was Scully.

_“Very…!”_ she smiled in his direction and pressed play again.

There were glances back and forth from both of them, little gazes to each other on certain moments in the movie. His warmth and the way his body lowered the mattress gave her a fuzzy feeling, the feeling of not being alone, not sleeping alone.

His hand was awfully close to hers, he so wanted to intertwine their fingers, but was too afraid crossing the line between partners, friends, and lovers.

He had noticed how her body slowly relaxed more and more. Her guard came down with it, her wall was less high as it used to be.

Never had he dared to picture Scully being this emotional watching a movie, put at one point she grasped his hand and pulled it to her heart, while she teared up. In just a fraction she released it again, realizing what she had done.

He stared at her and gently grasped her hand again, whispering to her and soothing her: _“It’s okay.”_

Shyly she looked at him for a split second, a little smile escaped her lips and he felt her fingers slid through his squeezing him gently.

He knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think...


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mulder doesn't leave her and they share a bed.

He knew.

He knew she was at ease with him in her room, comfortable with him next to her in her bed, her hand in his hand. In any other situation it might have been awkward and strange, but not in this case.

She had held his hand the entire last part of the movie, while he couldn’t resist fiddling with her fingers. His thumb had grazed her skin with sweet little circles and squeezes while his fingers were intertwined with hers. She had softly smiled at the sensation of togetherness, of not being alone, of having someone close. The feeling overwhelmed them both.

Scully was exhausted, so she barely noticed how lovingly he caressed her wrist moving to her elbow when the movie had ended. She was too far gone to wake up. He carefully turned to her and observed how her breathing had slowed down and how her eyes were closed. Her lips were slightly parted and her free hand rested on the swathe around her stomach.

Carefully he untangled their fingers, laying her hand gently next to her sleeping body.

He gently pulled the covers over her chest, preventing her from getting cold. As he did he couldn’t help but admire how beautiful she looked. Her pale skin was fragile as porcelain, the dark raspberry color of her lips complemented her angelic face and her freckles were sprawled over her skin like the stars in the sky. His fingers automatically brushed her face when he noticed a few lost hairs on her cheek. His gestures were light and tender, trying his best to not wake her up.

His eyes slowly traveled over her features. To him she was perfect, and he couldn’t help wanting to caress her face as she slept. He was drawn to her, like a magnet, a moth to a flame. He didn’t want to wake her, he didn’t want to disturb her, he didn’t want to freak her out with his gazes. But he just couldn’t take his eyes away from her.

He softly sighed while he crawled out of bed to dim the lights and to turn off the television. He regretted having to leave this cozy and warm bed, he wanted to stay with her, just sleep next to her, just being close, just being there.

As he made his way towards the door, he heard her mumble: _“Don’t leave me…”_

He turned around and he noticed how her eyes were slightly open and her arm was stretched out to him. Her fingers grasped his hand as he approached her.

She was between dream and wake and he didn’t know if this was her conscious or unconscious mind speaking. 

He shushed her by tenderly caressing her temple and her cheek, his soothing voice whispering: _“Sssh just rest… you are exhausted.”_ He almost wanted to add _honey_ to it, but he could hold back just at the right time.

Her eyes dreamily opened and stared longing in his direction. Her fingers played with his, pulling him closer.

_“Don’t want you to sleep on that uncomfortable couch…”_ she sleepily whispered at him. His eyes followed the moments of her lips, he was mesmerized by the way she spoke.

_“But…”_ his breath brushed her face and his eyes anchored with hers. He gently smiled and shook his head, trying to talk her out of that thought. He didn’t want things to get weird or awkward between them. As the deep blue of her eyes touched his hazel, he knew he couldn’t refuse.

_“It’s ok, Mulder, don’t worry…”_ she added slowly, while her thumb grazed his skin, closing her eyes again.

Her warm touch lingered on his skin, leaving a tingling feeling in its wake.

He felt like he just couldn’t refuse. The couch was fine to him, to sleep on, he would sleep on it forever if she wanted him to. Her bed was forbidden in his eyes, he wanted to respect her privacy and although her bed seemed so comfortable he had decided to sleep on the couch. Now things changed, he couldn’t refuse her plea.

She was adorable thinking about his comfort, although he guessed she just wanted his company, she wanted someone close,…

Her fingers slowly relaxed when he silently agreed. He had hummed and she just knew he would sleep next to her in her bed.

Slowly he walked to his side and crawled under the warm covers. He sensed her presence, her warmth, he heard her breathing, he swore he could even hear her heartbeat. It made him happy to know she felt so at ease with him, so comfortable,…

He had to admit lying in a bed felt good, the clean crisp sheets, the smell of the cotton and especially the woman next to him. Most of all he wanted to take her in his arms and just hold her through the night. Comfort her, cuddle and hug her. But he could, he wasn’t allowed.

While he made himself comfortable, he felt how her left hand reached out and how her fingers intertwined with his. She wanted to feel him close, she wanted to know he was there with her.

She simply didn’t want to be alone.

They both fell asleep almost instantly, their fingers interlaced…

 

***

 

He couldn’t resist, watching her sleep was the most precious and beautiful thing he had ever seen. In the wee morning light, her porcelain face got illuminated like an expensive jewel and he had no choice… he had to look at her. This was his partner, his friend, his soulmate, he would do anything for her. She was so important in his life, if not the most important person ever.

Her face was slightly turned in his direction and his fingertips softly brushed over her cheek. He had no intention waking her, he just couldn’t resist touching her angelic face. Mulder had always felt the urge to touch her in some way. For him it was a connection, letting her know he was there, always. In every assignment, he needed a moment with her, the small of her back was one of his favorite spot he could touch her on the job. Sometimes even a pat on the shoulder or a light touch on her hand, or even lean against her… At first, she seemed very hesitant, but years later she craved for his connection as well.

Her eyelids fluttered slightly after his light caress and because he didn’t want to be the reason that she would wake up he pulled back his hand and just admired her face with his eyes. He observed her, every micro movement, every breath, every twitch of her eyes,… he loved looking at her.

Her eyes still shut while a warm smile formed on her lips and she softly whispered: _“Quit staring at me, Mulder!”_

Right after she said those words her eyes opened and she met his loving gaze. She stared back at him, waiting for his response, her face was soft and her smile warmed his heart. He felt caught by her.

_“Didn’t want to wake you, Scully,”_ he gently apologized, nervously avoiding her stare.

_“You didn’t,”_ she quickly answered, finding his hand and squeezing it lightly. _“Mulder…,”_ she said, hoping he would return her gaze again, _“thank you for staying here with me.”_  she continued as his eyes traveled up to hers again.

He nodded softly, letting her know he did it all for her without even doubting one moment.

_“How are you feeling?”_ he immediately asked. He felt tension building between them, their gazes were loaded and he wanted to avoid uncomfortable things.

_“Actually I feel ok, less sore, I think it’s healing perfectly,”_ her voice sounded a bit hoarse, but soft, she seemed happy things were going better.

Mulder moved closer to her and gently pulled the covers down to inspect her stomach. His fingers ran over the swathe covering her belly, no dried blood stain. He smiled up at her, letting her know it was a good sign. Her face lighted up when she met his smile.

_“Can I?”_ he mouthed when he reached over her to grab the scissors from her nightstand. His face hovered over her and her eyes switched between his lips and his eyes. Nervously she licked her lips and avoided his gaze, she felt the tension as well. She loved Mulder’s presence, but he made her so nervous. She felt tempted to pull him down to her and just to kiss him, but she held back, she needed to get herself together again.

Being this close to him she struggled thinking straight, her breathing and heart rate fastened.

She answered him with a quick and nervous _“Yes”_ as he slowly moved back with the scissors in his hand.  
His fingers gently held the swathe and guided the blades to not cut her skin underneath.

When the cold blade touched her skin she lightly gasped and bit her lip, which made Mulder look up at her. Her hand found his hand and she reassured him everything was fine.

Her skin was burning, not only because of the wound but certainly because Mulder’s hands were all over her. She knew this was wrong, developing this kind of feeling for her partner and friend, but she simply couldn’t help it. Her heart was racing and she loved how his hands and fingers were on her skin.

While he tried to nurse the healing wound, Scully’s eyes burned on his flesh. He heard her sighs and little gasps while he removed the bandage and disinfected the area. He was so careful not to hurt her, but she found it incredibly arousing seeing him take care of her. The way his hands held her skin and how light his touched were, so careful and controlled.

It was the first time she had ever felt anything like it. It was even kind of embarrassing, the way she squirmed and moaned under his nursing touch. Lucky for her, Mulder was under the impression the wound was still so sensitive, that she couldn’t hold her little noises.

After a few minutes, a new bandage was placed and she was wrapped in a new swathe. Her teeth still bit her lip and her eyes were shut as he gently moved her back against the cushions. He noticed her face and immediately asked her if she needed a painkiller or anything.

He still held her shoulders and her waist, making sure she was comfortable. His body was almost touching her, he felt how his warmth radiated on hers. He was still in his boxers and a t-shirt, hovering so near her almost naked body. She wasn’t allowed to think about what possibly could happen if she made a move. But he turned her on so much being this close to her and only wearing his boxers and T. He was a damn good looking man and she certainly was attracted to him.

_“Are you ok?”_ his warm breath brushed her face, he was still so close to her, not letting her go just yet. His thumbs rubbed her skin gently and when she opened her eyes, she saw the worry in his face.

With her lips pursed together and her eyes not able to avoid his stare, she nervously hummed, nodded and said: _“I’m fine Mulder… thank you!”_ She spoke slowly and seductively, without really realizing it herself _._

His hands lingered a few moments longer on her skin, his eyes bore deep into hers, almost reading her soul. She stared back, she felt the connection deep into her abdomen. In response, a mere reflex, her fingertips found his cheek and neck. If anyone had asked her at this point what she wanted to do, she would have said she wanted to kiss him. She couldn’t fight it, it was stronger than anything else.

Not breaking their eye contact her fingers ran through his hair and massaged his neck, while her other trailed his tanned face. Her lips parted as did his as if they both wanted to speak, but no words where heard.

A moment not longer than a few seconds, but so meaningful and pure. A loaded silence, but they both felt the love through their touches.

He slowly moved back and his hands left her skin. His eyes flicked back and forth between her eyes and her mouth. He couldn’t find words to say anything right away, he struggled, as did she. Lightning had struck right in his heart.

They both swallowed hard and shared a nervous giggle, their eyes moved through the room avoiding each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading...   
> Any comments?

**Author's Note:**

> It just wrote it and posted it. Not being edited...
> 
> Tell me what you think.


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